It is easy for us to hold expectations and easily become disappointed. Okay, it is easy for ME to do this. Too often I find myself holding high expectations in things like relationships or in a moment and many times I end up with a disappointed heart. So I begin to wonder if I should instead live my life with no expectations? Because every time that I have any the situation never lives up to what I hope for. Or should I continue to expect the very best from everything and set myself up for disappointment time after time? It is hard to find a balance between the two. I still don't have any answers about this, however, in the last few weeks I have recognized God working through this struggle.
In 51 days (WOAH!) I am moving to India - at this point there are still a lot of unknowns that will remain unknown until my plane lands, until I walk off the tarmac and am smacked in the face with Indian humidity, until I meet my local friends face to face. The unknown. How am I supposed to have expectations of something that is uncertain? I cannot.
To be honest it is hard for me to walk into this trip without knowing every detail - I am not usually a person who needs every specific detail lined up, however, because I am doing this all on my own it is a bit more overwhelming and scary. I am doing what I can to know as much as I can but I have to accept that I will get to India and still have questions.
Of course this is not a coincidence. I have sensed God's intentionality in allowing this uncertainty. If every single question that I had was answered and every detail was figured out I would probably be going into this trip with high expectations that most likely would be let down. Instead, this unknown is causing me to give my complete trust in God and his plan rather than what I know and the expectations that come along with that knowledge.
And so instead of using my knowledge of how this crazy journey will go and basing expectations off that, I have a different kind of expectation. The only thing that I expect, I anticipate, I strongly believe will happen, is that God's will WILL be done and he will use me if my heart is willing. I have complete faith in God and know that he will work in and through me and the people in India because he has proven his faithfulness in my life over and over. Should I expect anything less?
Thank you so much to all of you who are supporting me and this crazy journey - you are so important to me and I am excited to bring you along and share my experiences with you!